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My mother’s maiden name was Żelazna (Iron). I thought for a while whether to choose that name for myself as a nickname. Konrad Żelazny sounds cool. Like some powerful king or fearless knight. However, everyday life is much more brutal than these metallic word games. Every day I feel more like a crustacean that has just shed its old chitinous shell and, at this point, is more like a soft snail to the touch than the hard shield that my skin should be. I don’t have my shield or it’s at least not badly battered. Maybe I once had one, but it must have been made of fragile glass that shattered one day in one of the many fleshy human falls. I don’t even know when it disappeared.
I will never live in paradise. Paradise was never lost, it just never existed. There are only moments where I can feel good for a while and then I’m back on the constant battlefield again. All I can do is create more momentary idylls that collapse one after the other. I...More
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My mother’s maiden name was Żelazna (Iron). I thought for a while whether to choose that name for myself as a nickname. Konrad Żelazny sounds cool. Like some powerful king or fearless knight. However, everyday life is much more brutal than these metallic word games. Every day I feel more like a crustacean that has just shed its old chitinous shell and, at this point, is more like a soft snail to the touch than the hard shield that my skin should be. I don’t have my shield or it’s at least not badly battered. Maybe I once had one, but it must have been made of fragile glass that shattered one day in one of the many fleshy human falls. I don’t even know when it disappeared.
I will never live in paradise. Paradise was never lost, it just never existed. There are only moments where I can feel good for a while and then I’m back on the constant battlefield again. All I can do is create more momentary idylls that collapse one after the other. I...More
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